Last thursday I cried.
I cried because I was angry.
It was the first time I felt angry. At least in a very long time, but maybe – ever.
And that somehow changed me. I think. At least for the moment.
I don’t feel anymore.
- I know how I should feel.
- I know what I should feel.
- I know how my feelings should react to how I’m treated and what is happening around – and especially to me.
But I don’t.
I’m somehow detached from myself.
I’m not sure if this is temporary; And just normal – my mind protecting me from too much.
Or if this is something within my head seriously breaking down.
I just don’t know.
I think I should be worried, but I’m not!
I just don’t feel anything.
What should I do?
- Should I enjoy that the pressure and pain is gone?
- Or should I do everything that I can to get my feelings back?
It is strange!
It doesn’t feel strange, but I don’t feel, so it just is strange.
My rational brain is telling me that this is so wrong, but at the same time my brain is doing this to me.
What do you do when you can’t trust yourself?