Not the man I used to be

I’m not sure if that is bad.

Or if that is good.

Or if that will have any meaning at all.

All I know right now:

I am not who I used to be.

I am not sure if I ever will be that man again.

And I don’t know if I want be him again.


he had is good sides.

Always getting fantastic jobs.

Shooting straight to the top wherever he started.

Always getting the job done.


he was famous.

At least in the circles he was known in.

Always the center of the party.

Never being alone.

Only going home alone by choice.


He was always broke, despite having huge income.

He was always alone, even with all those people around him.

He never got closer to what he really wanted.


And now?

Don’t know.

Things are still tough,

but I – slowly – started moving again.

The wind is stiff, let’s see where it takes me.

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