** December 2013 (27 month ago) **
In December 2013 things we’re going up.
I had my spending under control.
I had my nice flat in Berlin.
I had friends.
I had a goal:
If I had just kept doing what I was doing
I would have paid off all my debt by September 2014
and would have had enough for a downpayment on a nice cozy flat.
My job was easy, even considering my chef was a complete looser
and the corporate environment wasn’t ‘for me’.
I even had a long list of article ideas pinned to my wall.
I was on a roll.
** January 2014 (26 month ago) **
Over christmas I met a new woman and fell deeply in love with her.
The timing hurt my old girlfriend more than I liked,
but it was just a coincidence.
And I thought I just had to go for it, even if it was just a day after we broke up.
** March 2014 (24 month ago) **
She broke up with me.
Actually she told me she ‘never felt that way’.
It broke my heart.
And my mind.
I was falling.
Fast.
Deep.
And hard.
The hit was so hard that I gave up everything I struggled so hard to achieve.
I gave up my job.
I gave up my flat.
I gave up my friends. (Some of them didn’t give me up!)
I was very close to admit myself to a clinic.
I just couldn’t cope anymore.
** April 2014 (23 month ago) **
Instead of going to a clinic
I changed my mind at the last minute and spend a month in Scotland.
Soothing my soul.
Mending my heart.
Things with her were complicated;
And painful,
but I didn’t give up.
Never.
I felt I could do it.
I felt strong when I came back.
** August 2014 (19 month ago) **
I was different.
Not better.
Not worse.
Just different.
** September 2014 (18 month ago) **
I gave up everything.
No job.
No flat.
Nothing.
** October 2014 (17 month ago) **
New job in Helsinki.
New flat in Helsinki.
New girlfriend – yes, her – in Barcelona.
** December 2014 (15 month ago) **
She broke up with me on christmas.
And I was broken again.
This was also the halfway point of my 7 years,
but I didn’t care.
I survived 2014 and I decided to become strong again.
** December 2015 (3 month ago) **
I had given up on her.
She decided she wanted to give us a real chance.
** March 2016 (now) **
I’m sitting in Barcelona and I’m not sure what will happen the next few days.
Whatever happens things will be different.
I decided to pick this project (7-years) up again.
My financial situation is tight. Very tight.
I’ll be able to balance everything out next month,
but that will use up the last ace I have up my sleeve.
Afterwards it has to work.
There is no backup.
I started to track my spending again.
And I managed to stay within my income,
but it was tough.
Very tough.
Hope to give you more details soon.
