Looking Back – 2016

** December 2013 (27 month ago) **

In December 2013 things we’re going up.

I had my spending under control.

I had my nice flat in Berlin.

I had friends.

I had a goal:

If I had just kept doing what I was doing

I would have paid off all my debt by September 2014

and would have had enough for a downpayment on a nice cozy flat.

My job was easy, even considering my chef was a complete looser

and the corporate environment wasn’t ‘for me’.

I even had a long list of article ideas pinned to my wall.

I was on a roll.

** January 2014 (26 month ago) **

Over christmas I met a new woman and fell deeply in love with her.

The timing hurt my old girlfriend more than I liked,

but it was just a coincidence.

And I thought I just had to go for it, even if it was just a day after we broke up.

** March 2014 (24 month ago) **

She broke up with me.

Actually she told me she ‘never felt that way’.

It broke my heart.

And my mind.

I was falling.



And hard.

The hit was so hard that I gave up everything I struggled so hard to achieve.

I gave up my job.

I gave up my flat.

I gave up my friends. (Some of them didn’t give me up!)

I was very close to admit myself to a clinic.

I just couldn’t cope anymore.

** April 2014 (23 month ago) **

Instead of going to a clinic

I changed my mind at the last minute and spend a month in Scotland.

Soothing my soul.

Mending my heart.

Things with her were complicated;

And painful,

but I didn’t give up.


I felt I could do it.

I felt strong when I came back.

** August 2014 (19 month ago) **

I was different.

Not better.

Not worse.

Just different.

** September 2014 (18 month ago) **

I gave up everything.

No job.

No flat.


** October 2014 (17 month ago) **

New job in Helsinki.

New flat in Helsinki.

New girlfriend – yes, her – in Barcelona.

** December 2014 (15 month ago) **

She broke up with me on christmas.

And I was broken again.

This was also the halfway point of my 7 years,

but I didn’t care.

I survived 2014 and I decided to become strong again.

** December 2015 (3 month ago) **

I had given up on her.

She decided she wanted to give us a real chance.

** March 2016 (now) **

I’m sitting in Barcelona and I’m not sure what will happen the next few days.

Whatever happens things will be different.

I decided to pick this project (7-years) up again.

My financial situation is tight. Very tight.

I’ll be able to balance everything out next month,

but that will use up the last ace I have up my sleeve.

Afterwards it has to work.

There is no backup.

I started to track my spending again.

And I managed to stay within my income,

but it was tough.

Very tough.

Hope to give you more details soon.

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